uma-voz

expressive journey

all writings

  • happy to l(i/ea)ve

    happy to l(i/ea)ve

    I’m happy to live
    I’m happy to give

    I’m not glad to bike in the wind
    Get sick all the time
    A busy schedule to grind
    Run faster, try to save time
    Bargain cash to buy time
    I neglected and felt
    From the balance of my mental health
    it’s not fine

    Great moments I’ve lived
    Great rollercoaster of emotions I dealt with
    I loved, I played like an egoistic
    I questioned if I’m just a narcissist

    I found strength and changed when possible
    Although without friends it felt impossible
    True people remind you of your power
    Gives warmth to your inner flower

    I ate tomatoes that were not tasty
    I spent so much, until I got wasted
    But I’m happy, I have lived
    I feel by now I have more to give


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  • carta blanca

    Papel blanco, una nueva página.
    ¿Pero por qué tiene que ser blanca? ¿No puedo tener una página de otro color en mi vida? ¿Y si una nueva página significa tener papel amarillo o rosa? Por un lado… Creo que lo importante es que no se trata de una página pre-escrita y pre-rellenada, con esas frases en las que hay que rellenar los espacios en blanco marcados por los puntos. “Me casé con…”, “Tuve un hijo llamado…”, “Compré una casa en…” y así en adelante. Bueno, lo importante es que la página no tenga filas y cuadros en los que haya que seguir un determinado orden, una determinada línea o una determinada altura y encajar en la casilla sin que parezca que se “sale de la norma”. Lo importante es que la página esté limpia, lista para ser experimentada, grabada y usada.
    Una nueva página o un nuevo papel no debe tener un color predeterminado. Debería cambiar, mutar con las estaciones y el sol, con los olores y nuestros pensamientos. Son las emociones las que deben llenar el espacio de la página, que nunca debe estar vacío. Debe ser plena e irrepetible, debe ser indeleble e irresistible. Debe estar lleno de frases inacabadas y de dudas, de pausas y de desesperación, de tanto amor expresado en las formas más variadas y extrañas de este universo.
    Ahora toma una página en blanco, no la juzgues por su color o forma, y llénala de vida.

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  • this feeling

    What is this force that is pushing me to write on this page? What is this feeling down my belly that is running through my body and burning inside? Like before an explosion or before a loud scream. I don’t know how to deal with it, Google doesn’t know me and I can’t explain who I fully am.

    It’s a moment of big feeling that is happening and what is left is to write about it. Or to call a friend but that would lead to a different conversation.. maybe not now. I would like to talk to myself now.

    I put some music on, put on my shoes and hit the road, again.

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  • escalator

    Can a relationship be like an escalator? Or a relationship should be like an escalator.
    You should be with someone that makes your climb easier and the descent too. The person that loves you will make you feel light and will make you feel that an endless series of stairs has an actual end. That same person will make you feel unafraid to face the thousands of stairs that go down the underground. When the heat becomes strong, down there, and the legs are tired after having walked a long way, the escalator will transport you without worries, so you can rest a bit.
    It’s not about someone else that makes the job for you, don’t think of it this way.
    It’s more about facilitating something in the moment of need.
    It’s about enjoying the ride and the moment without suffering too much for something so simple.
    Being on an escalator requires a level of trust as well because once we’re on it, it won’t stop or go back, we just need to accept and go ahead. Whether you’re going up or down, you just need to trust the flow and wait until the escalator ends. Be patient while arriving at your destination and be careful when you go up or down the escalator. It can be a little dangerous or scary.
    But it won’t hurt you.
    Just look down and firmly step on the moving iron stair piece.
    Just jump out when it ends.

    I don’t think you need to take the escalator all the time. Sometimes you can let it go and take the stairs, so you feel your heartbeat increase and sweat on your back.

    Be grateful and kind to the escalator, it makes your life a little bit easier. Just like a good and healthy relationship.

  • purple sunset

    purple sunset

    Sitting comfortably on a chair.
    Thinking of how we do all behave.
    Trying to abandon my soul to the randomness of life.
    I’ve realised that I don’t miss you anymore.
    And what I need is not what I wanted.

    Yesterday I watched the cliffs being kissed by a warm and purple sunset.
    I’ve seen couples kissing and waves spreading in slow motion over the beach sand.
    I felt rich,
    and filled with a wide range of visual delights.
    Soft as a marshmallow, my inside feeling was sweet and warm.
    My goodbye was spelled on the edges of the pink clouds.
    On the horizon right after the sun was gone, when the light breeze started covering my skin.

    I felt again, for a second, the chill of that empty and cold room I was in a year ago.

    Is it just me or has this place suddenly changed?
    I felt the difference since I came here, it felt like I was dreaming.

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  • Day 1

    It’s an early morning of a cold 12th of May that the adventure starts, together with his lovely dog and his adventure companion. The view from the central station was quite inspiring: the sun was slowly rising over the buildings and the light was filling the sky. 30 minutes are missing before the departure of the first train. Sleepy, excited and still at times incredulous at what is waiting for him ahead.

    Right after entering the station, he was approached by an old lady that had blessed his trip. She gave him some copies of prayers and gently said “may the angels protect your trip”.

    The first train feels quite right and comfortable, people are being very friendly and nice to his dog which makes him feel serene.

    The sounds of the train speeding fast on the rails, gives him a sense of transition and transports his mind with all his thoughts to different places. The cabin’s temperature starts to rise and makes him feel sleepy again. But he keeps sipping the coffee he made in the morning, which keeps him awake enough to enjoy the “voyage”.

    It’s on the final train of the day that he starts to notice outside that the trees are getting greener and the sun brighter. Soon after that, with a smile upon his face he says: “look, the sea”, pointing his eyes towards the reflection of the sun over the surface of the water.
    At this point, the south of France reminds him of the south of Italy and brings fresh memories of those summers spent in different beautiful spots. Some shared with his friends, others shared with his family, he tries to remind them while starring outside the window. But one thing is certain for him: those moments feel like ages ago.